Ghosting: Why It's So Disrespectful | Reno - Lake Tahoe Photographer

Tonight I had a wedding consult scheduled for 6:00 pm. I had arranged it with the couple earlier this week. I sent over my consult questionnaire and wrote out a nice little email with it letting them know where to go, what time their consult was at, and asked that if something were to come up that caused them to be late or reschedule - to let me know.

I emailed them this morning to confirm our meeting as I had not received the questionnaire back. It was viewed 2 hours after I sent it. Crickets. I emailed again with a “Hey! Sorry to bother you, but please let me know if we’re still meeting as it kinda dictates my evening” email. Again, crickets.

I get off of work at 5:00 pm and the meeting was set for 6:00 pm. I’m faced with the choice of - do I just go home and hope they don’t actually show up -OR- Go to the studio and prep for the consult as planned and hope they show up? I of course have to go to the consult as planned as what if I don’t and they show up and I am not there. Then I look like the asshole who stood them up.

I show up to the studio and prep. I put out my canvases, layout prints and my album. I go through the questions I need to ask as they’ve failed to fill out the questionnaire. I keep checking my email and still have no response. 5:30 pm comes and goes. 5:45 pm comes and goes. 6:00 comes and goes. It’s now 6:15 pm and there has been no word from them. At that point I put everything away, pack up and head home. By the time I get home, it’s now 7:15 pm. I got off of work 2 hours and 15 minutes ago.

I still haven’t heard from the couple. I’ve been ghosted.

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What is ghosting?
It’s when someone avoids your phone calls, emails, etc. They don’t give you any reason why they are ignoring you. They just disappear.

Pretty rude, huh? When it comes to the wedding vendor world, it seems to happen quite frequently. It’s quite frustrating and downright disrespectful!

Why do people ghost vendors?
I am sure there are many reasons, but these are some of the ones I can think of…

  • They decided to go with a different vendor

  • They realize you are outside of their budget

  • They forgot

  • They just aren’t interested anymore

I get things come up. You realize that you may be over your budget or you find someone else that you want to go with. All of those reason are okay! I truly don’t mind if you went with another vendor or realized I wasn’t in your budget. It’s OKAY! What doesn’t make it okay is not letting the vendor know. They take time away from their family for these meetings. Since Monday, I have seen my husband a total of 3 hours. Tonight, I could have come home right after work and spent time with him before he went to work. I could have cooked my family a nice dinner. Now, since I got home at 7:15 after being stood up, there is no time to spend with my husband or to cook a nice meal (unless we want to eat at 9:00 pm). So we’re having mac n’ cheese and hotdogs. I get to see my husband as he runs out the door for work.

I lost time with my family because someone was too disrespectful to let me know they weren’t going to come to our scheduled meeting.

Don’t ghost your vendors. Just don’t. It’s rude and disrespectful. It’s taking their time and wasting it. It’s causing vendors to not want to do these one-on-one personal meetings with potential clients. Instead they just communicate through email.

It comes down to this. Don’t be a dick. Don’t ghost vendors. If you’re not interested anymore - tell them! I can assure you - they will totally understand and will hands down appreciate you letting them know.